I’ve been walking all winter on my own, but today I was blessed to have a good friend Stefan Pettersson of Swedish descent, join me in our 9 km anti Covid walk through my city. Stefan is as close to a Viking as I will ever get close to, plus he is a rabid Leaf fan like me, AND the dude climbed Mt McKinley back in the day.
Stefan has been part of a couple of men’s groups I am a part of, both meeting weekly in early morning. Stef enriches my life and so many others by his consistent loyalty and ‘I’ve got your back’ attitude and action. I love this young man.
Stefan and I and a few others have the kind of male friendship C S Lewis affirms—
True friends don’t spend time gazing into each other’s eyes.
They may show great tenderness towards each other but they face in the same direction – toward common projects, goals – above all, towards a common Lord
Friends walk side by side.
You will not find the warrior, the poet, the philosopher or the Christian by staring in his eyes as if he were your mistress:
Better to fight beside him, read with him, argue with him, pray with him.
-Caring, Change, Communication, Connection, Conflict, Creativity and Commitment.
Then I read another list of C’s from Pastor Rick Warren, that included a spiritual emphasis as well as psychological.
In June my wife and I celebrate 39 years of marriage. A wedding anniversary wakes us up to the past and also helps us to reflect on what we’re becoming as a couple.
In my marriage and marriage coaching I have discovered the importance of encouraging couples to daily take their daily dose of the 6 “Vitamin C’s” for a healthy and thriving marriage. I take these every day.
Wake up your marriage through communication.
Every day make time to talk with each other not to each other.
“It’s impossible to overemphasize the immense needs that humans have to be really listened to, taken seriously, and understood.” Paul Tournier
Wake up your marriage through consideration.
St Paul advises us to “Show your love by being helpful to each other.”
Consideration energizes a marriage. Consideration means paying attention to what your partner says, being thoughtful and showing common courtesies.
Wake up your marriage through compromise.
St Paul wrote, ‘Love does not demand its own way.”
Consider these facts of life:
1) You will have conflict in your marriage.
2) There are some issues you will never agree on.
3) Compromise is the evidence of real love.
Wake up your marriage through courtship.
Be each other’s best friends. It’s easy to leave your spouse, but it’s really hard to leave your best friend, so work hard at being best friends for the rest of your life. Date frequently.
Wake up your marriage through commitment.
Commitment says you are all in. Commitment says you will work through the problems and not seek solace from anyone else. God spoke concerning the vows of marriage through the prophet Malachi 2:16 “Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your mate.”
Wake up your marriage through an ongoing encounter with Jesus Christ.
I believe the most powerful C is a relationship with Christ as a couple.
As you make Christ the centre of your life together you will have the ability to accomplish the other five. It’s your individual relationship with Jesus that will give you the power and wisdom to practice the other Cs.
I have discovered after 39 years of marriage to the same woman that the grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is greenest where you water it.
So to wake up your marriage, start watering it.