Monthly Archives: May 2015

Waking Up Your Marriage with Relational Vitamin C’s

I first heard the concept of Vitamin C’s for couples by therapist Luke De Sadeleer.  His list included the following Vitamin C’s-67106680

-Caring, Change, Communication, Connection, Conflict, Creativity and Commitment.

Then I read another list of C’s from Pastor Rick Warren, that included a spiritual emphasis as well as psychological.

In June my wife and I celebrate 39 years of marriage. A wedding anniversary wakes us up to the past and also helps us to reflect on what we’re becoming as a couple.

In my marriage and marriage coaching I have discovered the importance of encouraging couples to daily take their daily dose of the 6 “Vitamin C’s” for a healthy and thriving marriage. I take these every day.

Wake up your marriage through communication.

Every day make time to talk with each other not to each other.

“It’s impossible to overemphasize the immense needs that humans have to be really listened to, taken seriously, and understood.” Paul Tournier

Wake up your marriage through consideration.

St Paul advises us to “Show your love by being helpful to each other.”

Consideration energizes a marriage. Consideration means paying attention to what your partner says, being thoughtful and showing common courtesies.

Wake up your marriage through compromise.

St Paul wrote, ‘Love does not demand its own way.”

Consider these facts of life:

1) You will have conflict in your marriage.

2) There are some issues you will never agree on.

3) Compromise is the evidence of real love.

Wake up your marriage through courtship.

Be each other’s best friends. It’s easy to leave your spouse, but it’s really hard to leave your best friend, so work hard at being best friends for the rest of your life. Date frequently.

Wake up your marriage through commitment.

Commitment says you are all in. Commitment says you will work through the problems and not seek solace from anyone else. God spoke concerning the vows of marriage through the prophet Malachi 2:16 “Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your mate.”

Wake up your marriage through an ongoing encounter with Jesus Christ.

I believe the most powerful C is a relationship with Christ as a couple.

As you make Christ the centre of your life together you will have the ability to accomplish the other five. It’s your individual relationship with Jesus that will give you the power and wisdom to practice the other Cs.

I have discovered after 39 years of marriage to the same woman that the grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is greenest where you water it.

So to wake up your marriage, start watering it.

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