As we wind down 2012, Rosetta and I are just wondering where 36 years have gone. Wow.  We are on the verge of becoming grandparents for the first time. Yes, we know we are having a grandson, just a week or two away.  This month zoomed by and usually I like to ‘hit pause’ button on month of December but it didn’t happen. Throw in rotator cuff shoulder surgery and it made for a very interesting and at times, painful month.  As my nurse said, “Sorry to tell you this Luch, but post op shoulder surgery is hell.” No truer words were ever spoken.

Having time to reflect, while ‘resting’, I highlighted a few lessons that I am learning I want to share 9 of them with you – I hope at least one connects with you.

Invest time with those you love:

I have always been a champion for work life balance, and am even more so now.  I remember a comment from years ago: “No-one ever lies on their death bed and wishes they’d spent more time in the office”.  So very true – I shall certainly be making more time for my loved ones in 2013, even though they are no longer ‘little kids’ but adults. I want to make sure to be a resource to them and not impose my views on them.

 Spend time doing what you love:

I’m fortunate, I love my job and really enjoy working with business and professional people assisting them in integrating the various areas of their lives. And coaching them  to get more success for them, their business, and volunteer efforts.  However, I meet a lot of people who are disenchanted with their job, their situation or their life.  My hope for them is they can find the courage to do something about it, and find what they love doing. This is an area I want to keep growing in. And I also want to coach people to design the lives they love to live.

The importance of ‘getting naked’ (being vulnerable builds relationships):

Whether in personal, ministry, or business relationships, I have found that allowing people to see (some of) your frailties, and accepting their help, strengthens a bond.  I have seen colleagues tested, and been able to help, and I have needed support, and appreciated it when people have stepped up.  Don’t turn every conversation with a friend or client into a therapy session, but you can be human.

We bounce back more than we think:

A few years ago my wife and I went through a health crisis (on her part), and I went through a career crisis, that put me in limbo for almost a year.  We wondered what was happening and if we would ever recover and get back to what used to be normal. I am happy to say, she has recovered well from a serious bout with cancer, and I am back on track with my career, and moving boldly and confidently into the new year.Some trees are very supple, and can bend enormously in the wind, but bounce back when the storm passes.  Both mentally and physically, we are the same.  My wife’s body has shown amazing ability to recover, and I know some businesses that have recovered after really hard times.  Never underestimate your own ability to rise to a challenge – set yourself some stretching goals for 2013 and see what happens!

 When you take action, stuff happens:

One of my life/business coaches taught me the following formula for success–

Intention + Attention = SuccessIf you have the right intention and give proper attention/action, you will most likely experience success. This is all about having a bias for massive action.

My wife’s recovery has been aided by the doctors to be sure, but I suspect her diligence in applying the above formula which includes aggressive exercise, diligence with nutrition, and a lower stress environment, has resulted in a quality of life she deserves. .  When I make sure I do what’s needed in the ministry, such as initiating activity, contacting prospects, stuff happens.  Not always where I think it will, but it always happens.  I shall be planning more time to do the same in 2013.  As hockey star Wayne Gretzgy said, “I miss all the shots I never take.”

Let go to grow:

I love the adage:  Do I want to do the work of 10 people? Or, Do I want to put 10 people to work?  I must admit that for years, I was doing the work of 10 people and paying a significant price to my health and ‘happiness factor.’  As I coach and train people, it’s a joy to see them carrying on their ministry to others, and that I don’t have to train them, plus their contacts.  I am working through them.  The more we get others to do, the more success seems to follow.  As a control freak, this has been tough for me, but every time I have delegated more, my ministry has multiplied – making 2012 a solid year.

It’s all about Margin: 

My perception of a successful business or ministry person is someone with a full diary – lots of meetings, plenty of client and parishioner calls, lots of buzz.  I’m beginning to see that isn’t the case, especially for those leading a thriving and healthy business or ministry.   We need gaps in our diary, both to allow for the unexpected (a laptop crash in my case!) and to allow for strategic thinking and perspective.  At home and at work, I will be looking for more white space in my calendar in 2013.

Life is not a rehearsal: 

Life is not going to happen. It’s happening now.We just don’t know what is round the corner – a seemingly excellent  relationship can end suddenly, a serious illness can change priorities, the economy can crash suddenly. Whatever your goals and desires in life, make them happen.  Live and work responsibly, but dare to dream.

Make Love My Greatest Aim in 2013:

I know I mentioned ‘the importance of love’ above, but at age 59, I believe love is the ball game. I personally believe that I may ‘succeed’ at work but if I fail at my relationships, if I have failed at loving others authentically, I have failed. In reflecting on the famous Love Chapter in the New Testament someone wrote, Life–Love=Zero.

That is so true.  So my personal assignment for 2013 is that I want to recapture the priority of love as my primary aim in life.

The best use of life is love

The best expression of love is time

The best time to love is now.

If I can any way be of service to you in the new year as a business and life development coach, please contact me at luciano@deliberateu.com for a complimentary session.